Albatross

A black and white ball swooped out of the cloudless African sky, landing on the tips of Noddy’s fingers. Prehistoric talons rested cold and smooth against his skin.

“Hello, Spike, you cheeky bird.”

Spike flapped his wings and squawked with excitement. Or maybe it was hunger.

“Alright, don’t shout at me. I must have something somewhere.”

He dug in his pockets, slowly, careful not to move his other hand too much. The fiscal shrike tilted its head to one side, waiting impatiently. His crisp white chest feathers, extending all the way from under the beak till past his legs, with his pitch-black head and wings, white bars on his shoulders extending into a V on his back, made him look like a tiny doorman in a tuxedo.

“Mick hated that fucking bird.”

Spike hopped from Noddy’s hand, up his arm, to perch defiantly on his head, squawking and flapping.

“And I can see why.” Dirk handed Noddy a beer. “They all look the same to me, though. Rats with wings.”

Noddy put the beer on a table behind him and went back to searching his pockets. “Ah, here we go.” A scrunched-up serviette came out of the side pocket in his sleeveless denim jacket. Unscrunched, it revealed a scrap of bacon. The bird hopped onto his hand again, snatched the scrap and flew the short distance to the razor wire wrapped around the balcony of Dirk’s flat.

“What’s he doing?”

Noddy reached back for his beer. “That’s why they’re called butcher birds. They spike their food on thorns or barbed wire, then either rip it apart and eat it or leave it there for later.”

Dirk shivered. “That’s brutal, man. Like a serial killer, make out.”

Noddy took a sip of his breakfast. “There you go, boy. It’s all yours. Ignore this heathen creature.”

“That bird eats better than you. Can I rustle up a sandwich or something?”

Noddy shook his head. “I just came to give your keys back. Thanks for letting me crash here, but I’m back with Janine now, so I won’t be needing them.”

“Yeah, I saw the two of you getting all snuggly. About that…”

Noddy laughed. “What? No snuggling in Valhalla? Not heavy enough for you?”

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And – Shorty’s Poems and Hard Money are now available from ZaBazaar, supported by the Department of Sports, Arts and Culture.

What happens when reality TV ventures out into space and awakens ancient gods who would really rather be left alone?

Watch the human race tear itself apart in the face of cosmic forces unleashed after millennia.

Let Sleeping Gods Lie – my new science-fiction horror novelette – is available on Amazon and various other online retailers. I have some paperback copies if anybody wants one, or you can find them at Curiosity, in the Railways Cafe.

Ebooks are still half-price from 1 August to 11 August, in celebration of National Women’s Day. Because, yes, the main character is a woman. And after what she goes through, she deserves a day.

Finally, catch Big Day Out, a mad mercenary romp through the dystopian nightmare that Covid-19 might have become. Might still become, if we don’t keep our self-appointed leaders on a very short leash.

Available on Amazon or from Book Circle Capital.

Cheers.